Sanctuary
by shezaei-neko
Summary: Sanctuary: a place of safety. What better place she could find after loosing what she cherished the most? Shizuru's POV. And now Natsuki's POV UP! MaiHime Universe.
1. Sanctuary

**A/N:** Well this is something that once again my twisted mind created the other day at 1 a.m., the idea came after reading a fic. that had so much angst, so this is the result. This was written in Shizuru's POV. I'm not sure if I should write Natsuki's, or leave this as a one-shot. Tell me what you think, hope you like it. This one takes place in Mai-Hime universe.

Oh, BTW, tell me about any typo or grammar mistake.

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Mai-Hime. Must be some karma…

**

* * *

SANCTUARY **

"Ara, ara, Natsuki, you shouldn't do that", said a voice with a beautiful Kyoto dialect. She was smiling and looking at some point of the white room. She giggled a bit, totally oblivious that she was being watched.

"Mou Natsuki, too much mayo in that is not good", silence followed, then she spoke again. "Okay, just this time, because I love you so much".

One of the persons that were watching her noticed that she had a smile in her face. It hurt, because it was an irony that she was happier in there than in any other place.

* * *

I was a real fool……how could I have done that? I keep asking myself after all this time. In the end I only find the same answer all over again. I just…I just wanted to protect you. You meant the world to me, I wanted to keep you safe from everything but it was me who caused you the most harm, too much that I can't forgive myself, really, how could I forgive myself? Not even heavens could forgive this kind of sin.

I wish I had been braver that time, to oppose their decision; but their threats were so true that I feared for your safety. "Don't ever see that girl again" they said "Unless you want 'our people' to dispose of her". I immediately understood what they meant with that. I just couldn't let it happen, so I decided to do something about it. Even if my heart was breaking into pieces just like my soul I went to see you in our favorite place, I had to end this so you would be safe from those people.

Your stunning face had the brightest smile that day; it seemed that it grew bigger and prettier every time we saw each other. Your lovely eyes shone when they met mine, you came running towards me and engulfed me in a tight hug and then a passionate kiss. You always amazed me, who would have thought that you could show this kind of affection? This only broke my heart more than it already was but I had to do it. Everything for your safety, nothing else mattered, that's what I thought.

I let go off you hand. You looked at me with a puzzled face and asked me if I was fine. I was looking at the ground, but then summoning all the strength I had inside me I tilted my head up and locked my eyes with yours. My face had a serious expression; I was able to build again a perfect mask, just like those you were able to crumble. My eyes showing no emotion, they were empty of every feeling, I was suppressing them. Everything what I really felt was behind that mask but it was so perfect you didn't notice it. Realizing that, I spoke those words that I never thought I'd say to you, they were like venom to your heart but nevertheless I said them. Your eyes opened widely, totally taken aback by them. I saw the fear in your eyes; your hands went to my shoulders and then you shook me back and forth begging for an answer, pleading to the heavens that they weren't truth. They weren't but I couldn't let you know in that moment. I took your hands and removed them from my shoulders; I gave them a light squeeze and laid them in your lap.

My hands went to my neck and I removed the silver chain and the ring that was attached to it, that gift you gave me time ago; it was my treasure. I placed it in your hands, standing up I began to walk away. You yelled my name but I never turned around to see you, I just kept walking. Desperate you ran to me and hugged me from behind, asking…no…begging for an answer. I felt your tears falling in my hair and my neck. I hated myself for this but if it meant your safety I'd be happy to pay the price. I released myself from your hug and without facing you I said again; "I don't want to see you anymore, don't ever appear in my way again. I hope you understood, Kuga-san". I started to walk again; tears falling from my face drenching my shirt; I felt empty and lifeless but that was only the beginning. That was the last day I heard you voice.

A couple of weeks had passed since that fateful day. They noticed my change of attitude, however they didn't care; they were pleased even if they knew they took my happiness away. Also as if life wanted to make me more miserable, one morning I received a call from Mai. When I saw her name in the screen on my phone I thought she'd ask me what happened to us. How I wish she had asked that instead of telling me the reason of her call. I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it!! It had to be a lie. I couldn't afford the idea you were not longer here.

Your friends were worried about you; you didn't attend school and didn't answer their calls. When they went to see you, it was too late. Before you left you decided to leave two letters behind; one was for Mai and other for me. I cried to no end after reading your letter. It was me! All because of me!! It was me who caused you this pain, I was a demon; it was me who make you suffer the most, I was a sinner; it was me who took your life away, it was me who killed you, I was an assassin. I went to where your body laid. You were there resting peacefully, as if you were sleeping, but I knew that this was a sleep you'd never awake from. I touched your porcelain face, it was pale and cold. I couldn't resist any longer. I landed over your body, crying and screaming your name, begging your forgiveness, saying how much I love you, all in vain because I knew you couldn't hear me and more even, you wouldn't answer me.

I hated myself. You left this world thinking that your love was a burden to me, that you were a nuisance, that I……that I hated you. How could I hate you? You gave me everything I all ever wanted and much more. I'm sorry. I feel so sorry. Please forgive me. That's my only wish.

I failed. I failed trying to protect the person I loved the most. I couldn't protect you from myself.

I couldn't keep going like this but they didn't let me follow you even if I tried, oh…how many times I did try. I simply gave up and decided to run away to the only place I could see you again; in my mind, in my memories; I liked to call it my Sanctuary.

* * *

"How is she?", said a deep voice with Kyoto accent.

"We gave her some medication so she's more tranquil right now", said an old man. "She stopped trying 'to do it', so it's a progress".

"Progress?! How can this be a progress? Look where she is for god's sake!", yelled the other man pointing at the white room.

"We're doing everything we can sir, but it seems she doesn't want to cooperate, she wants to stay 'there'", replied the old man.

"I don't care what it takes! She's a Fujino, got that?!" the man turned around and began to walk away. "Inform me about any change."

"Yes sir", the old man looked at the girl in the room one more time and sighed, then followed the other man and escorted him to the exit.

The man with Kyoto accent left the building and walked through the main gate.

On the top it could be read: "Arkham Asylum".

END??

* * *

Well, what do you think about it? Did you like it?

I wrote this fic. thinking in a "worst case scenario", I don't know if Natsuki would do something like this, after all she's a strong character but who knows? I wanted to give it a try so this came up.

Thanks for reading and don't forget to review.

Ah, btw, don't worry about the other fics. The next chapter of Natsuki Doggy is on progress.

See you around!

Shezaei neko


	2. Memories

**A/N:** Hello everyone! As if I didn't make you cry enough with the first chapter, here I bring you Natsuki's POV of this fic. Please let me know of any typo or grammar mistake.

I know it'll sound bad but……Enjoy it! And don't forget to review. (just in case, prepare a box of tissues)

Remember this takes place in Mai-Hime Universe.

Disclaimer: I don't own Mai-Hime. Just in my dreams.

* * *

**MEMORIES**

"Shizuru……"

My breathing was quick; my body's temperature was dropping considerably fast, my heartbeat was slowing; staring at the silver piece in my hand, my mind traveled to that day; that day when my destiny changed just like the meaning of my life.

I had no other choice, I couldn't find another solution. This was the only way I could fulfill your request. If that's how you felt then so be it. I will do as you wish. Everything for you, even if my heart ached if it was for you I'd do anything at all, because……

"I love you……"

My last words to you.

* * *

I woke up with your call, your voice erased any trace of sleepiness from my body; your beautiful voice gave me energy, made me feel alive. You told me to meet you up in the usual spot, that favorite place, OUR place. I agreed immediately, and then you hung up. In a couple of hours I was ready, leaving the apartment I went to see you.

You were there, waiting for me. Upon meeting my eyes with yours I sprinted to you, ready to take you in my arms and give you a fierce hug and then a breathtaking kiss, just like you liked them. When it finished you let go off me and met my eyes. You had such a serious expression as if something worried you; I couldn't stand seeing you in such state so I dared to ask what was troubling you. You raised your beautiful face and locked your eyes with mine. I was surprised by your expression; it was just like those you had before, without emotion. This scared me, in all this time you never had them again, so, why now? I was about to say something but you spoke first. The words that left your sweet mouth pierced my heart, my soul, all my entire being. My eyes were wide open, my mind unable to register what you just had said. No, I couldn't believe it! You couldn't be saying that kind of things. Not you!! My hands took your shoulders and shook you; my voice was full of fear, I was totally scared. I began to ask you reasons, telling you that this joke wasn't fun, telling you to stop this kind of teasing, begging you for an answer. I got none. This had to be a nightmare.

Then I felt something in my hands, looking down I saw it; it was the silver chain with the ring I gave you; that ring you saw in the summer festival, that ring I bought and gave it to you because you liked it, because you wanted it. You were so happy that day; you told me it would be your treasure; that you'd use it with the silver chain so it'd be closer to your heart; so you could always feel me. Now it was in my hands.

You stood up and began to walk away. I screamed your name time after time but you didn't stop, you kept going. I couldn't let that happen, I stood up and ran to you, I hugged your slim figure from behind. Tears began to come out from my eyes falling in your back, in your silky hair, in your creamy neck. My body was trembling just like my voice as I was asking you why you were doing this. I wanted answers and I thought you'll give them when I felt you were releasing yourself from my embrace; how wrong I was. Still with your back facing me, you spoke, not what I wanted to hear. I still remember your words: "I don't want to see you anymore, don't ever appear in my way again. I hope you understood." Your voice didn't waver when you said them, but what really took me totally aback was how you called me afterwards: "Kuga-san." The way you said it made me shiver, such seriousness, so indifferent, so……cold. You started to walk away again, I wanted to follow you but I felt so weak, all the energy you gave me was being drained from me with every step you gave. The only thing I could do was to scream your name: "SHIZURUUUU!!". You never stopped walking; you never turned around, you never came back. As I saw your frame disappearing in the distance I fell on my knees, I shut my eyes to stop the tears that were flowing endlessly, my hands were clenched into fists banging the floor. I stopped banging it until my hand went numb. I opened my eyes and looked at my hands; there was blood; the force I clenched my hands with was too much that made my palms bleed and now they were staining your ring. I stared at it. Flashes of the past came; those things I wanted to forget: my father's betrayal, my mother's death, the carnival, THIS.

Rain began to pour heavily; drenching my clothes, mixing with the tears that never stopped flowing. I stood up and somehow I managed to make it back home. I changed my clothes and looked my own reflection on the mirror. My eyes were red from all the tears I shed, my face was pale, or more like lifeless. I never had seen my face with such sadness, not even after my mother's death I had this features; I couldn't recognize myself, it was completely different from the image it had in the morning; it hurt so much, I couldn't keep watching it so I did something about it. I smashed the mirror into pieces.

I went to the living room and in a corner I dropped myself on the floor; resting my head in one of my hands while looking at the ring. Why?, I kept asking myself that question but I didn't find an answer. Out of all people, why you? This was so wrong, this couldn't be happening. I felt so hopeless. I curled up into a ball on the floor, hugging myself, protecting myself, and hoping this would be solved in the morning. All was in vain. You never called and when I tried to call you, you never answered. I felt desperate, felt so down that I didn't go to school; I didn't want people to see me in this state. Also I didn't want to run into you, after all you clearly told me that.

Days passed and I didn't feel any better; all the opposite. During the day I saw your face everywhere, every inch in my apartment made me think about you; during the night, the past haunted me, especially the memories of that day; night after night I had nightmares, the next worst than the previous; I was scared, I was distressed, I was……alone.

Really, how could I keep going like this when everything I had was taken away from me? How could anyone afford this kind of loss again? Life didn't have any meaning now that you weren't by my side. I missed your laugh, I missed your smile, I missed everything about you. I lost all the will to live.

I couldn't bear it anymore; I had to let this out before 'doing it'. I took some papers, a pen and then I began to write. The first letter was for Mai, after all she was my friend and I felt I owed her an apology, when I finished I folded it and put it in an envelope. The next one was for you. Even if you didn't feel the same for me now, I had to tell you how I felt, with that thought in mind, I began to write.

"To Shizuru"

I paused and then I wrote again.

"Sorry, To Fujino Seito Kaichou-sama.

I know you must be surprised and perhaps disgusted by reading this letter but please, read it to the end. Feel free to throw it away afterwards if it is such a nuisance to you; but I really have to say this. I LOVE YOU. I love you with all my heart, with my life, with my soul. I'll love you 'til the end of time. Even after all this pain I've suffered with your departure I don't hate you. I can't. You know why? Because you made me forget how to hate and taught me how to forgive, how to love. How can I hate when I've forgotten such emotion? How to do it? And even if I still remembered how it was like, I could never hate you. You gave me everything I was always denied to have. I can only thank you for that. It meant the world to me, even if it was for a short time. Thank you for all those happy moments we shared together. Thanks for all those sweet words you once told me. Thanks for all the teasing; hard to believe but I enjoyed every minute of it. Thanks for your caring touches and passionate kisses. Thanks for LOVING ME.

I suppose you hate me now for making this declaration even when you asked me not to be in your way again, I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. But don't worry; I'll make sure to never cross in your path again, so you will be at ease.

I love you Shizuru, and I hope you'll be happy.

Kuga Natsuki."

I put the pen down, folded the letter and put it in an envelope. I wrote your name on it, then I went to prepare everything; I was ready, this pain would end soon and my life with it.

It didn't take much time, it was faster than expected. I saw a photo of yours one last time and then I looked at the ring which I never let go off my hand since the day you placed it there. I clenched it and rested my hand on my chest, over my heart. I smiled while whispering your name and closing my eyes for eternity.

* * *

Silence. I was rounded with complete silence. Only my breathing could be heard. Also I was surrounded with darkness. I couldn't see anything, but for some reason I wasn't afraid of this place. My body felt light but my heart felt heavy and warm.

Yes, it was because of that. Even in here I feel the same for you, it will never change, not in a thousand years, this feeling will never change.

I wondered why I was in this place; it wasn't heaven but it wasn't hell either. I had my eyes closed, thinking. Then I realized why I was here; why I couldn't go anywhere.

I became a Memory.

Your Memory.

* * *

END.

Hope you liked it. Remember that this was a "worst case scenario".

Maybe I'll edit it because I feel I forgot some of ideas.

I'll let you know if I re-write it.

Thanks for reading and don't forget to review.

See you around

Shezaei neko.


End file.
